can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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