careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
