They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
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Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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