what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
