Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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