He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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