Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
