we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
