chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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