i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize