the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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