Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
