You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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