i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
