I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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