i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
