May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
