Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
