bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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