Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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