I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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