at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
