just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
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I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
When did angry sex become our thing?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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