You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
