i may or may not be watching the land before time
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Randomize
