im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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