What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Drunk is not a location!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
