They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
