eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
