Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
