Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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