Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
