Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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