I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
