? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
