I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
