Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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