I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
