Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
