good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize