We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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