What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
