Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize