puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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