Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
What drink are we having for lunch?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
