His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
