he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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