i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
