After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize