Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
