how can u be prego again
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
