Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
