Your mouth is God's brothel.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
