i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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