remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
