you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
