She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
