one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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