NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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