My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I would fuck him just for his dog
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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