omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
