the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
