Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
