i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
