Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
