i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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